Vadim Borkun

I believe there is a new star in the sky 'My son Vadim'

    Vadim was 19. He passed away 18 days before his 20th birthday in October 2005. The death took him suddenly, unexpected while sleeping. He used to tell me “I am so strong, mama, nothing can happen to me”. Now I know, it may … so quick to anybody, at any minute even from pneumonia in century 21.

     I brought him here, to this country for long, happy life. It wasn’t easy to go through first steps: new language, new traditions, new culture, even food is different. No friends, no relatives… He had to have a lot to learn here. He had to find friends. He learned new so easy and quick. I have been so proud of him. This country gives people many opportunities to get your dreams come true. We (Vadim and my self) had our dreams of future, hope.

     Vadim loved children (he wanted to be a teacher). When he was in high school he chose Intern program “Teaching in Elementary school” for one semester. One day, I remember, we were in elevator and a boy 9 years old came to my son to give him a hug. I was surprised (didn’t know who is this boy), and Vadim proudly said “He is my student”. After finishing that program Vadim had been invited by administration of school to work for them. He used to go to this school even when he started his first year in College.  

     When Vadim died, part of me died too. I am weak now. Vadim was given me strength. My life had a meaning and purpose. Now I am alone with my son’s death here in a country of our dreams, in a country of our lost dreams. My heart is broken. Every day I try to put myself back together.

     A mother should not have to watch her son putting in to ground. A mother should not have to witness fact that much as she loves her child, she can not safe him from a death.

     Now I have to live with my pain. But also I need to believe that Vadim’s death is leading me somewhere. I will use all my power and wisdom I have to come through this well.

     I terribly miss my only child, miss him coming in the door, miss hearing his sweet voice “hi, mom”, “I love you, mom”, miss his warm and strong hugs, miss his happy smile, miss his brown sparkling eyes, miss listening his stories. 

     Vadim loved music, computer, and he loved to mix music in computer or DJ’s table (it was his hobby). He loved to fix things (bike, computer, iron…), he loved nature, swim, sport (he used to play volleyball, and his favor football team was Jets). He was very sociable. The boys and girls lean toward him, attracted to his power. He always knew what he wants, what he likes. He was very kind and very loyal to his friends. He was lovely and loved always son, grandson and nephew. He was a real.

     Vadim is not gone! He lives inside of me now. But I terribly miss his physical presence here, in this life.